Name Calling: How Toxic People Use It As An Emotional Weapon (And What You Can Do About It!)

Name calling is a disease that infects us all. All you have to do is turn on the television or get online to see it in action.

Let’s face it. There are no lack of words and phrases to call out the fact we’re not perfect.

Over the past few months, I can recall at least 10 to 20 different insults, just off the top of my head, that talk about women in a negative light, such as crazy b*tch, butter face, fattie, and others.

While women bear the biggest brunt of the insult game, men have been called their fair share too, such as sissy, pervert, douchebag, and more.

I know there are a lot of other raunchier names I could have listed, but I’d like to keep it clean, or as clean as I can keep it having already mentioned a few insults that make me want to vomit. Okay, let’s keep this article moving…

For decades it bothered me when people called me names. I didn’t understand WHY people felt the need to fling insults. And, for a time, I was using them too, mostly out of being called them myself as well as sheer frustration and anger. It wasn’t until recently that I learned all this name calling had nothing really to do with me after all.

Here are the 4 reasons I discovered why people call other people nasty names:

#1 – To Distract From The Main Issue

If you don’t have a solid argument to back up your opinions, you might revert to insults in order to throw the other person off their game. Call them a few names and they might get distracted enough to forget what they were talking about and focus on your irrelevant comments instead.

 

#2 – To Make Themselves Feel Better

If you hate yourself and are looking for a quick way to feel better, throw a couple of insults at other people. Typically, in this case, you would throw the sort of insult at them that you feel about yourself.

The problem with this is that while you may get a quick high from insulting someone, you’ll still feel bad about yourself. It only shifts your focus for a little bit and then you’ll be back to hating yourself again.

 

#3 – To Look Cool

Need a quick way to make friends, insult someone else to look cool, fit in, and build camaraderie. The only problem with this one is that you’re building an unhealthy relationship on a very shaky foundation.

And, when you least expect it, someone else could do the same to you.

 

#4 – For Fun

Bored? Need some entertainment? Sometimes people call other people names simply because they want something to do or they get pleasure out of the reaction their insults cause. Some people might call this “pushing your buttons.”

Consider the people who are calling you these names. Are they even worth your time? Probably not.

 

Name Calling – How To Stop It

If this person is a friend or a colleague, let them know name calling is unacceptable. This is especially effective when they’re in the middle of calling you names. Or, if you don’t feel comfortable, just ignore them and don’t waste your time.

If you’re forced to interact due to mutual friendships or a project at work, be polite, do what you have to do, and get out. No need to spend more time with them than necessary.

If the person calling you names is a family member, let them know how the names make you feel and that you’ve had enough. Make sure you also tell them the name calling has to end or your relationship will.

If they don’t stop, they clearly don’t care about you.  And there’s no shame in cutting off ties with anyone who doesn’t respect you.

Are you guilty of calling people names? I was. I grew up with someone calling me names so I grew up calling other people names. That’s how I know WHY people call other people nasty names.

There’s no judgment here. Tell me about your experiences in the comments below.

Want more? Check out my books about dealing with toxic people at home and at work.