Emotional Abuse

6 Breakup Pitfalls You Should Avoid Like The Plague

| Gayle Katz

6 Breakup Pitfalls You Should Avoid Like The Plague

Woman-Crying-Breakup-Relationships

Breakups are difficult. Scratch that. Breakups are soul-sucking torture.

Whether your partner hits you with the “we need to talk” line or you pull the plug on your relationship yourself, maneuvering a breakup isn’t easy and can be agonizingly painful.

 

Getting Over Your Breakup Is A Process

And it doesn’t matter if it’s your first breakup, your tenth, or your hundredth, if you liked or loved the person you were with – it’s going to be a bumpy road.

And that’s really the first step to getting over a breakup – admitting it’s not going to be easy. The next step is to ensure you don’t commit any of these breakup no-no’s. While it’s not the end of the world if you do, it’ll certainly make your breakup that much more difficult to get over.

How do I know it’ll take longer to deal and heal from your breakup if you fall into these pitfalls? I’ve done them. Yeah, I’m talking from experience here so do yourself a favor, keep reading, learn from my mistakes, and avoid these breakup pitfalls that will cause you even more heartache.

 

Here Are The 6 Pitfalls That’ll Make Your Breakup Much Harder To Get Over.

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7 Toxic Relationship Habits I Used To Do (And You Probably Do Too)

| Gayle Katz

7 Toxic Relationship Habits I Used To Do (And You Probably Do Too)

toxic relationship habits biohazard

Relationships are difficult. You’ve got to work at them everyday for them to be happy and healthy ones. Sometimes we think we’re acting the right way or maybe we don’t know the right thing to do. If that’s the case, the relationship may fall prey to these 7 toxic relationship habits and is ultimately doomed.

Before I found the love of my life, I dated a lot of people. A lot. In the beginning, my relationships were amazing. It was like I was in a movie. He was handsome. I was beautiful. Every time I saw him, my heart would flutter with anticipation when he smiled at me. When he touched me, I could barely breathe. We were perfect in every way possible. We were the dynamic duo. It felt marvelous. I never wanted the feeling to end.

And then something went wrong and it all seemed to fall apart just as fast as it started. Yeah, maybe I did my best to hold on to that great feeling by keeping the relationship on life-support, but it was over.

Why did these relationships end? Maybe we weren’t compatible. Sure, that could have been it. Or, maybe we were both practicing some extremely toxic habits that ruined the relationship from the beginning.

 

Are you guilty of doing any of these 7 toxic relationship habits?

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Childfree? Motherhood? You’re a Woman Either Way

| Gayle Katz

Childfree? Motherhood? You’re a Woman Either Way

childfree-or-motherhood-struggle

Whether to take on the challenge of motherhood or go childfree is a big decision. Scratch that. It’s the biggest decision of your life.

When I was younger my mom always told me, “When you grow up, you’ll get married and have a beautiful little girl just like I had.” Despite my mom repeating those words like a broken record for decades, I never felt passionate about having kids. I didn’t sweat it too much though.

 

Deciding whether or not to have a baby was something I would deal with later.

 

Honestly? I thought my feelings toward having kids would change as I got older or when found a good man to share my life with.

Well, when I got married to the man of my dreams in my late 30s, decision-time was upon me, well, us. Every time we would visit with either of our parents, the talk would eventually turn to having a baby.

 

I was well aware that my biological clock was tick, tick, ticking away.

 

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You’re Fat! 7 Scary Effects of Fat Shaming Your Daughter

| Gayle Katz

You’re Fat! 7 Scary Effects of Fat Shaming Your Daughter

Fat shaming person on scale

This week’s post is a letter to all parents who have little girls. Don’t call your daughters fat. Don’t even think about it.

When I contemplate my childhood, the thing that stands out the most for me is my father criticizing my weight.

He didn’t just call me fat. I’ll give him credit. He was more creative than that. He called me names like “thunder thighs” and told me boys don’t date girls who are heavy. Not only that, but also he made me mow the lawn in the dead of summer in sweats so I would get exercise.

Equating exercise with mowing the lawn was a bad move. Building that connection between exercise and mowing the lawn only served to make me hate exercise even more than I already did. Have you ever mowed a lawn in the summer in sweatpants? It gets hot.

 

Dealing With My Weight Was a Nightmare

For a little girl blossoming into a young lady, dealing with my weight was a nightmare. And my father never truly understood the impact of his words and actions.

To be honest, I was so young I couldn’t even articulate how his criticisms made me feel. I just knew it wasn’t good. Plus this was the time before the concept of fat shaming was introduced into society.

Just so you know, I’m not going to whine through this entire article, but instead give concrete examples of why telling your daughter she’s fat – even if you think you’re being constructive or helpful – is not the right way to go.

I’m also going to end the article with a more positive way to get your daughter to lose weight without directly or indirectly fat shaming her.

 

What Happens When You Call Your Daughter Fat

With that said, here are 7 scary things that may happen to your daughter when you tell her she’s fat.

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Depressed? 5 Ways To Combat Negative Self-Image on Facebook

| Gayle Katz

Depressed? 5 Ways To Combat Negative Self-Image on Facebook

Depressed Girl

Depressed? No way. With all the funny cat videos and laugh out loud crazy memes, how could you be blue?

If you find yourself scrolling through your timeline and see your friends, colleagues, and family constantly post about how they’re so psyched to go on their vacations, dine at fancy restaurants, and have delightful holidays with their family, you might feel a little bad.

While all of those things are great, what if you don’t have your family close? Or if you can’t afford a fancy dinner or can’t take the vacation time?

 

Is Social Media Making You Miserable?

If you’re secretly jealous of others who appear to have it better than you, resent people who were dealt a better lot in life, or depressed because you’re not where you thought you would be at this point in your life, I hear you. Loud and clear.

If you feel that way, it’s totally understandable. Now, more than ever, people are sharing every moment of every day of every experience they have on social media. Some people do it to keep in touch with friends and family, others do it out of habit, and others do it just to prop themselves up.

If you’re feeling sad and depressed because other people seem to be in a state of perpetual happiness on social media, keep reading.

Here are 5 suggestions to combat your social media depression and preserve your self-image.

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Self-Love: Saving Your Sanity From Your Dysfunctional Family This Holiday Season

| Gayle Katz

Self-Love: Saving Your Sanity From Your Dysfunctional Family This Holiday Season

Self-Love-Sad-Woman

Ho Ho Ho or No No No?

Not looking forward to getting together with your family this holiday season? I totally get it.

If hearing the same old Christmas songs droning on, racking up debt buying presents your in-laws probably won’t like, and being held hostage at the dinner table doesn’t tickle your fancy, you might need to make a change in how you handle the holidays with your family.

While I wouldn’t advise getting all liquored up on mimosas or starting an all out brawl, there are mindful ways to take care of yourself. It’s called self-love.

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Being Grateful: 10 Things to Be Thankful For When You’re Dealing With A Toxic Family Member

| Gayle Katz

Being Grateful: 10 Things to Be Thankful For When You’re Dealing With A Toxic Family Member

happy-thanksgiving-what-are-you-thankful-for

It’s that time of year again. Thanksgiving and the other holidays are here.

With that said, here are the top 10 things to be thankful for when you’re in the midst of dealing with a toxic family member during the holidays.

And they just might apply to you too.

Top 10 Things to Be Thankful For

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Unemployed? 5 Toxic Things Worse Than Getting Laid Off

| Gayle Katz

Unemployed? 5 Toxic Things Worse Than Getting Laid Off (And How You Can Face Them With A Smile!)

Unemployed woman upset at her computer

So you just got the axe. Or, maybe you’ve been unemployed or underemployed for a few days, weeks, months, or even years and it sucks.

I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been there multiple times. What I’ve learned is each time is different depending on how you felt about your job, the company, your coworkers, etc.

How You Feel When You Get Laid Off

Even if you somehow felt the sense of impending doom coming, you’re never really prepared for when it actually happens, are you? I know I wasn’t.

So what’s a person supposed to do when you’ve put your heart and soul into a job and you get canned? Well, if we were to remove the fact that you’ve been professionally crushed and let down by your now-former employer, you would just update your resume and start the job hunt.

The problem with this answer is that you’re not a robot. Whether you knew it was coming or you were completely blindsided by the lay off, you’re going to need some time to recuperate and how to explain your unemployment to your next potential employer.

In the midst of all this unemployed chaos happening in your life, other people and feelings will emerge that may make this nightmare even worse for you.

Let’s seriously talk about the negative things that you could face after you get the axe. In some cases, these things could be MUCH worse than being let go from your job, unless you know how to handle them.

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Toxic Body Image: 7 Non-Toxic Ways To Stop Hating Your Body and Start Loving Yourself Again

| Gayle Katz

Toxic Body Image: 7 Non-Toxic Ways To Stop Hating Your Body and Start Loving Yourself Again

non-toxic-ways-to-better-body-image

Does this skirt make me look fat?

I’m a pizza face.

Why did I do that? I’m so stupid.

Yeah. I’ve said those things about myself too. And it’s not pretty. Why do we feel compelled to say such nasty things about ourselves? It only reinforces our toxic body image. If someone else were saying those things to himself or herself, what would we say? That’s right. We’d say, “Cut it out!”

So why do we still insist on saying these toxic things to ourselves? I’m not a psychologist, but I feel like this self-deprecation is a habit. A habit we’ve learned based on how the toxic people in our lives treat us. And I call it a habit because, even long after we kick the toxic people to the curb, we’re still saying hurtful and demeaning things to ourselves that only continue to reinforce our toxic body image.

How do we fix this self-deprecation habit that is slowly – and not so silently – stealing our energy, confidence, and self-esteem?

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Name Calling: How Toxic People Use It As An Emotional Weapon (And What You Can Do About It!)

| Gayle Katz

Name Calling: How Toxic People Use It As An Emotional Weapon (And What You Can Do About It!)

Name Calling: How Toxic People Use It As An Emotional Weapon (And What You Can Do About It!)

Name calling is a disease that infects us all. All you have to do is turn on the television or get online to see it in action.

Let’s face it. There are no lack of words and phrases to call out the fact we’re not perfect.

Over the past few months, I can recall at least 10 to 20 different insults, just off the top of my head, that talk about women in a negative light, such as crazy b*tch, butter face, fattie, and others.

While women bear the biggest brunt of the insult game, men have been called their fair share too, such as sissy, pervert, douchebag, and more.

I know there are a lot of other raunchier names I could have listed, but I’d like to keep it clean, or as clean as I can keep it having already mentioned a few insults that make me want to vomit. Okay, let’s keep this article moving…

For decades it bothered me when people called me names. I didn’t understand WHY people felt the need to fling insults. And, for a time, I was using them too, mostly out of being called them myself as well as sheer frustration and anger. It wasn’t until recently that I learned all this name calling had nothing really to do with me after all.

Here are the 4 reasons I discovered why people call other people nasty names:

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