Unemployed? 5 Toxic Things Worse Than Getting Laid Off (And How You Can Face Them With A Smile!)

So you just got the axe. Or, maybe you’ve been unemployed or underemployed for a few days, weeks, months, or even years and it sucks.

I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been there multiple times. What I’ve learned is each time is different depending on how you felt about your job, the company, your coworkers, etc.

How You Feel When You Get Laid Off

Even if you somehow felt the sense of impending doom coming, you’re never really prepared for when it actually happens, are you? I know I wasn’t.

So what’s a person supposed to do when you’ve put your heart and soul into a job and you get canned? Well, if we were to remove the fact that you’ve been professionally crushed and let down by your now-former employer, you would just update your resume and start the job hunt.

The problem with this answer is that you’re not a robot. Whether you knew it was coming or you were completely blindsided by the lay off, you’re going to need some time to recuperate and how to explain your unemployment to your next potential employer.

In the midst of all this unemployed chaos happening in your life, other people and feelings will emerge that may make this nightmare even worse for you.

Let’s seriously talk about the negative things that you could face after you get the axe. In some cases, these things could be MUCH worse than being let go from your job, unless you know how to handle them.

#1 – Not Knowing How To Explain Your Layoff

Maybe you know exactly why you got the axe. Maybe you don’t. It doesn’t really matter. What does matter is figuring out how to speak about it so it helps get you your next job.

Was the company losing revenue, market share, or becoming less competitive in the marketplace somehow? Was the work environment not a healthy one emotionally, professional, or physically?

What To Do:

When you’re thinking about how to phrase what happened, make sure to take the big picture into account. Don’t just focus on yourself. In many cases, being unemployed has little to do with the job you’ve done and more about how the company is doing.

 

#2 – Staying Depressed, Sad, or Angry About Being Unemployed

Your relationship with your company ended. And just like when any other relationship ends, you might be sad, feel empty or depressed, or maybe even angry. But the hard lesson here is that life goes on. If they let you go, you weren’t meant to be there any longer. You’re meant for bigger and better things.

Embrace those feelings, work through them, and begin to move on. If you don’t follow those three steps, you’ll never fully get over the loss and you’ll unknowingly carry those feelings with you into your job interviews. You may not notice them, but the person interviewing you surely will and that might hold you back from getting the job.

What To Do:

Give yourself a leg up over other people by dealing with your feelings so they’re resolved. Once you’ve done that, you’ll be in a much better place come interview time.

 

#3 – Not Using Your Time Wisely

What are you doing when you’re not working? Are you applying for other jobs you find interesting? Are you researching other companies in the area and making connections for when they’re in hiring mode? Is there something a company isn’t doing that you could do for them and you, in essence, create your own job?

Breaking from the job search for a moment, have you always wanted to write a book? Do you need to clean out the clutter from your place? Need to start exercising and get in shape?

Being unemployed gives you precious time. Do things that will make a difference in your life and the lives of the people around you. Do things that honor yourself and make you happy.

What To Do:

You have one life to live so make good use of your time on this planet.

I’m not saying you can’t take a break to watch an episode or two of Dr. Phil or Jerry Springer, but whatever you do, make the time count.

 

#4 – Falling Prey to Family and Friends Toxic Talk

If you have family members or friends who haven’t experienced the trauma that comes along with being unemployed, don’t expect them to understand what you’re going through.

In many cases, those people may end up belittling you for a multitude of reasons. They may automatically jump to the conclusion that you did a bad job or that you weren’t proactive enough in finding other job before you lost your old one. I’ve had a couple people in my life who didn’t understand what it meant to be unemployed and, I have to be honest and admit, it was brutal.

(As a quick aside, both of these people eventually were laid off or had trouble finding work. My guess is that they now understand how I felt all those years ago.)

What To Do:

Don’t buy into the toxic talk. Stay positive and value yourself.

 

#5 – Not Being Confident In Your Abilities

Are you in accounting, marketing, or human resources? Are you an electrician, plumber, or teacher? It really doesn’t matter. Whatever you did at your last job means you have skills.

Do you work well with others? Take initiative and run with projects? Have good planning and organizational skills? Good with numbers and analysis?

You have abilities. Be confident in them. Even if you think you’re not the best in your field and feel you need improvement, you’re probably more qualified than someone else who doesn’t have your experience.

What To Do:

Not sure about your abilities? Write down what you did at your last job and start to identify what larger skill set it falls under.

For example, did you learn anything new at your last job? If so, then you have a great ability to hit the ground running while learning new skills. The first step in being confident in your abilities is to know how to identify them.

 

Always Be Positive About Yourself and What You Have to Offer

I’m sure you’ll agree it’s difficult to find a good job these days.

If you’re doing any of the 5 toxic things listed above, it’s not helping you. In fact, if you’re allowing yourself to be a victim, you’re making it even more difficult to find a job.

I’m urging you to stay strong and project confidence in yourself and your abilities. If you don’t trust in yourself, why would anyone else, right?

If you need some support, I totally understand. Please click here to join our Freedom From Toxic People Facebook Group. It’s a good group of people who will be there to support you and help you through the tough times.

If the group thing isn’t your bag, I totally get that. Why not sign up for a 45-minute Private 1-on-1 session with me?  For right now, I’m a lot less than a therapist and I have actual real-world experience.

I’ve been laid off and unemployed multiple times. The first time was the worst, but I got better at picking myself up, dusting myself off, and getting back into the groove. From updating my resume and writing cover letters to seeking out jobs and staying positive, I’ve been though it all and I just might be able to help you too.