6 Toxic Behaviors I Stopped By Doing The Opposite – Confessions of a Seinfeld Junkie
Seinfeld has got to be the best comedy ever aired on television… at least in my lifetime.
If you haven’t watched the show, stop reading this post immediately and go watch a few episodes. You should be able to find reruns on cable or, if you’re more of an on-demand kind of person, Hulu may be your best bet. Don’t worry. I’ll wait. (Caution: Spoilers Below)
On the other hand, if you’ve watched a couple episodes or you’re already a Seinfeld junkie like me, let’s continue.
When you first watch the series, you’ll be tickled by the true-to-life situations the characters experience. For me, in the beginning, the show was about pure comedy and laughter. The show was an escape from all those other TV shows that were delivering messages and taking themselves too seriously.
The show was about nothing; at least that’s what the creators and the characters said. What a breath of fresh air, right?
Here’s the thing, as I watched the episodes over and over, I realized this show about nothing was about something after all.
Toxic Behaviors Run Rampant
It’s about all the toxic behaviors and situations that happen in life and how to deal with them. The characters on the show – Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer – all handle these toxic things badly. Let’s face it, they’re toxic themselves and to each other.
Watch their actions, be more mindful of your own, and begin to change your own toxic behaviors by doing the opposite.
Not sure what I mean? Keep reading…
Toxic Behavior #1 – Trying to Be Someone or Something You’re Not
George is always trying to be something he isn’t. His dream was to be an architect. As a result, he took every opportunity to pretend he was one. In one episode he even pretended to be a marine biologist. Nothing ever seemed to work out for him.
Key takeaway: Always Be Yourself.
If you don’t like something about yourself, work to change or improve it. Don’t go through life trying to be someone else.
Toxic Behavior #2 – Focusing On The Bad
Elaine was dating the charming Jake Jarmel and they were getting along famously. One evening Jake was making them dinner when Elaine came home. Upon her arrival, he presented her with a bunch of phone messages she received when she was away. One of them was about her friend having a baby. In the note, Jake didn’t use an exclamation point. Elaine thought that was peculiar, started a fight, and ended the relationship.
Jake was a catch. I mean, he was cooking dinner for gosh sakes! And Elaine focused on such a small, insignificant detail and ruined the relationship.
Key takeaway: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.
Don’t focus only on the bad things in life, especially if they happen to be small and meaningless. Take your blinders off, see the big picture, and know your life is probably better than you think it is.
Toxic Behavior #3 – Freaking Out Over Silly Things
Sometimes on the show the characters would grow so frustrated with people and situations that they had no control over.
In one episode, George was waiting to use a public phone. When it was his turn, a random woman slipped in between him and the phone. Once George realized what happened, he blew his top.
In another episode, Elaine got stuck on a subway train when the power went out. While she kept her comments contained so no one else could hear them, her inner monologue was maddening.
Key takeaway: Be Patient with Yourself and Others
Try to stay calm and think through situations rationally.
Toxic Behavior #4 – Judging Others
People are more than what they look like or what they do for a living. If you’re judging people based on these trivial things, you might be missing out on a great friend, colleague, or lover.
In one episode, Jerry has a negative view of a woman he’s dating as soon as he discovered Newman (his nemesis neighbor) dated and dumped her for no apparent reason.
Key takeaway: Don’t Judge Others.
Look beyond the superficial before deciding whether or not you’d like to pursue a relationship with someone. They may surprise you, if you give them a chance.
Toxic Behavior #5 – Being Unaware of Your Surroundings
When Kramer and the gang go to the mall to help him purchase an air conditioner, no one takes note of where they parked. As a result, they spend hours trying to find their parking spot, only to have George miss his get together with his parents, Elaine’s fish die, and Jerry get a citation for public urination.
If only one of them would have simply jotted down where they were parked, none of that nonsense would have happened.
Key Takeaway: Always Be Prepared.
Be mindful of quick wins. These are easy things in life that help you save your time, money, and sanity.
Toxic Behavior #6 – Trying to Please Everyone
There were a couple of episodes that featured the quirky Babu Bhatt. He was an immigrant from Pakistan. He tried to get his piece of the American Dream, when Jerry interfered and inadvertently drove his restaurant out of business and got him deported.
Jerry didn’t have any experience in the restaurant business nor did he have a good relationship with the lawyer who was supposed to help Babu stay in the country. Instead of looking like the hero, he came out looking like a jerk.
Key Takeaway: Learn to Say No.
Unless you have proven knowledge or experience or know someone well who does, do yourself a favor and say no to anyone who asks you for advice or guidance. And certainly don’t volunteer to help unless you have the time and are absolutely confident in the outcome.
So, do you have anything in common with the characters in Seinfeld?
Are you guilty of doing any of these toxic behaviors? I was. That’s how I was able to write this article. Are you? I would love to hear about your toxic experiences in the comments below.
Want more? Check out my books about dealing with toxic people at home and at work.