First things first.  Okay, let’s be honest.  You’ll never win an argument with a difficult person, but you can diffuse the situation so that you’re not sucked into their downward spiral of emotional abuse.

#1 – The “I Understand” Response

Simply respond, “I understand.”  By using this tactic, you’re telling the other person that you heard what he said and are going to consider his suggestion.  This person is trying to impose his thoughts and beliefs on you, so the best way out of this fight is to acknowledge his perspective.  In essence, you’re defusing a highly charged situation with only two words.

You might not realize it, but people everywhere offer up advice to virtually everyone all of the time.  Consider this “offering” just another piece of such advice.  Accept it for what it’s worth and move on gracefully.

#2 – The “You’re Right” Response

This response was difficult for me to learn.  It takes a lot out of you to tell the persons causing you distress that they’re right, even if they’re not.Validate someone who isn’t getting approval elsewhere, and he or she will calm down.  They’ve shared a piece of information with someone (namely you) who appreciates it and tells them so.  After all, who doesn’t like being told that they’re right?

#3 – The “Great Idea” Comeback

Here’s a response that will work in almost every situation.  When someone is driving you crazy by telling you what you should have done or what you should do in a specific situation, you can simply say, “That’s a great idea.”Here’s my reasoning behind this one.  Everyone has ideas, right?  Whether a proposed idea is a good one or not is very subjective.  Use that to your advantage.  Instead of immediately responding with a negative retort, come back with something positive, and you may see the other person actually warm up to you.

#4 – The “Can You Explain That?” Comeback

This response is the best way to get bullies to talk about themselves and take the focus off you.  As they start to explain, make sure to pepper the conversation with follow-up questions that make the person feel as though you’re listening and learning.  Pretend that you’re a doctor asking questions in order to diagnose a problem.Focus the conversation on them.  Who doesn’t like talking about themselves, right? Typically they’ll be flattered by your asking so many questions because you’re taking them and their observation seriously.

While you may not think you can do these things right now, you can.  First, read through the responses we reviewed above.  Second, practice them over and over until they roll off your tongue.  Third, understand the magnitude of your new skill.  You have the power to change your situation.  Just by saying a couple of well timed words, you have the ability to subtly turn almost any bad situation into a good one.

Did you find this information helpful?  Let me know by leaving a comment below!

If you found this article helpful and would like more practical advice, grab a copy of my book, “Grounded Girl’s Guide to Dealing With Difficult People and Saving Your Sanity.”